All of our relationships, in particular with the one we love, exist for a dual purpose, along with their great promise. First, most of us understand that our partner in life is there to help us grow, and to awaken and stir in us, accordingly, an awareness of love’s highest possibilities. But the other – and equally important half of this same purpose and promise – without which the first part can’t succeed – is as follows: our partner in life is also there to help us see everything in us that now stands in the way of our coming to realize this same higher love.
Here are two transformational revelations of love.
#1 – Learn the True Basis of Compassion
It probably often seems that your partner knows how to push the wrong button in you, and always at exactly the wrong time. It’s as if they wait for you to say, “Yes,” to something, so that then they can say, “No.” You would really like to learn how to be more patient with them than you are, but you don’t have a clue where to begin.
No doubt it’s challenging to deal with anyone, let alone a loved one who contradicts us at every turn. But becoming impatient and blaming them for their unconscious actions is like yelling at a toaster to stop burning your bread! The real solution to this, and to all similar situations rests within you, not with your partner.
We can only bear some negative characteristic in someone else that we have learned to consciously bear in ourselves…which means none of us can be truly compassionate until we know what it means to suffer ourselves for the sake of something greater than ourselves: unconditional love.
#2 – See Love in Action
It may seem impossible at times to let go and let love lead us through the trials we face with our partner. We all want to believe in higher love – to be able to act with the kind of compassion that is not just our possibility, but our responsibility, as well. So how can we begin to see this power, so that we might build a greater trust in it?
First we must realize it’s not enough to just “believe” in the power of love; billions profess this belief, and yet…billions still hurt one another in the name of love. We must learn to see – with “new eyes” – that love is within and around us at all times. For instance, here’s an example of something that’s always been right before us, as a fact of life, but that has remained just out of sight.
The love we have for anything holy, beautiful, or true is present in our heart before we can think of any reason for the love that we feel. The breathtaking light at sunset, that strain of delicate music, or watching a mother tenderly embrace her child: these moments don’t create the love we feel for what we see before us; these moments reveal the presence, and the power of a love that already lives in us! Do take a moment to consider all that this insight implies: it isn’t we who find things to love, but rather that Love finds – through us –a way to reach us, and to teach us that She lives in and through all things…including us.
Excerpted from Relationship Magic: Waking Up Together by Guy Finley.
©2018 Guy Finley
Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd.